Dear Old Dad

Father's Day June 20th, 2010,



Well it is Father's Day today and I am very fortunate to still have my Dad here. I haven't called him yet, however. I always wait until the end of the day to make sure he is home. At the age 76 young he spends his retirement years working harder than ever at leisuring. He bikes three miles to the tennis court, then plays two hours of tennis, bikes home, bikes to the library, bikes to buy the paper and swims in the ocean. If you ever saw him on his bike out on Cape Cod you would laugh at the old skinny guy covered from head to toe to avoid the slightest amount of sun exposure. We make fun of his rag bag homeless person outfits all the time. My mom leaves a pile of clothes every fall before they migrate back to Florida and I am supposed to burn or destroy them in the spring when we open the house back up. I wonder if he knows about his wardrobe sacrifice ritual or he just forgets what he left behind each season.

Spendthrifty or frugal does not even begin to describe my Dad. He grew up in Lakewood Ohio just a few blocks up from Lake Erie. His mother saved everything. I remember cleaning out her house and wondering why anyone would save the rubber band from each newspaper delivered over the course of 50 years, two hundred margarine containers, plastic coffee scoops in every color ever made and a closet solely dedicated to plastic baggies. Now I wish for just one of those plastic coffee scoops because they do not put them in the cans of coffee anymore. She saved all the cans as well and the Pringles potato chip cans. She filled them with original Tolhouse and Molasses cookies and mailed them to us in Connecticut. I guess if you grow up during the war selling bacon grease and delivering ice for pennies you save everything.


When we visit the house on The Cape my children have a whole routine of teasing Campbell as they call him. He starts to think about what is for dinner as he wanders the kitchen brushing and flossing his teeth. We do not need a grandfather clock to announce noon, we have a Grandfather who is at the lunch table at precisely high noon every day with one slice of ham on rye, sun brewed tea with 1/2 a packet of sweetner , a squeeze of fresh lemon, and three crushed leaves of mint along with one handful only of Cape Cod potato chips. Lunch is served on the deck covered of course by a giant umbrella. We live at the beach to look at the sun, but never let it touch our skin. Before cocktail hour Campbell takes a poll to see how many clams exactly or how many ears of corn each person will eat because cooking one too many would be an unacceptable waste. My youngest imitates him by saying " Yeah let me get a small pizza cut it into 8 slices, that should be enough for all of us". When we descend on the beach house there are anywhere from 7-10 sharing that small pizza cut in 8 slices. It is the only vacation home you can return from 10 pounds lighter .

The reason my boys call Grandfather Campbell is because he was born Richard Campbell ,but back in his day they shortened Richard to Dick. Do I have to spell it out or can you just hear the snickering from the three boys. So Campbell it is. My father is a retired Orthopedic surgeon, very intelligent and extremely well read. He reads about four books at a time in his spare time between biking, tennis and swimming. We cannot get him to use a cell phone and we just got a computer in his house four years ago. It was the best thing that ever happened because now we can email each other every day. It was the worst thing that happened because he sends each sentance or one thought in one email, so I get 10 one line emails in a row. We do not share the same political interests, so his jokes and satire are not always welcomed. If you have not guessed by now all special occasion cards are emailed because he can save on the postage.

I love my father. I thought about all the special moments in my childhood that still to this day come back to my fading memory without much effort. He loves to fish. We fished every river, stream, pond, lake and ocean that was within home. I remember when he brought me to a trout hole at the waterfall in the woods behind the house. He made me swear to keep it to myself, so the fish would be there next time we came back. One time he asked a friend if we could fish in his pond at the end of a great field. We hopped the fence with our bamboo poles and styrofoam cup of worms and headed down the path. Well apparently he neglected to inform his friend that we would be fishing that day, because the neighbor had let his bull out in that pasture. We were chased all the way to the pond and jumped in to avoid being target practice for that angry beast. I did not want to fish there after that.

My dad was a very busy man while I was growing up, often times on call and heading to the hospital to take care of someone else's child, but he never missed a school play, science fair, field hockey game, Halloween trick or treating, softball tournament or graduation. He took us hiking, sledding, sailing, clamming, biking, skating to the movies, fishing, football, basketball and baseball games, firework displays, and just around the block for a walk. He made us shovel the snow, rake the leaves, mow the lawn, cut the hedges, weed the garden, carry the wood, pack the car, paint the shutters, clean the fireplace, do our homework. I would not be Me without my Dad( and my Mom of course but this is Father's Day so catch you next year Mom)Being a parent is on of the hardest jobs to get right. There are so many critics out there. I couldn't wish for a better Dad and I sure will miss him terribly when the day comes. For now I will continue to snicker and laugh at him with my boys, but I will always know that my Dad would be here in a second if I needed him and he is proud of me and he loves me his way.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads and Grandfathers out there. If your Dad is still here go call him. If you are one of the many unfortunate enough to have lost your Dad, go remember what you loved so much about him and know that he is still here in You.

Bee El